this was a good weekend

This was a pretty good weekend in the life of your fellow blogger. It started off on a bad note but ended up quite nice; Last Friday I was not in the best of the moods and my plan for the night was to stay in and play Sims on my computer until the wee hours of the night. Instead I had to put aside my depression and come out to save my friend Jess from her evil roommates. She came over and we watched movies then I went to bed. Saturday I had to work and after that my friend Mike dragged me with him on a shopping spree and I ended up buying my dream jacket that I have been waiting for so long to get! Then we went off to the bar where my roommate got a little bit too drunk and very annoying. The night ended with a few friends over at my apartment; as it was my favorite Tucson's couple 11th anniversary, MAN thats a long time! as Nick says thats like 120 straight years or matrimony. Back at my place we watched Sex and the City and played Trivial Pursuit until 4 AM. which brings me to today's art history lesson.

One of the questions was the following: What Edvard Munch painting was stolen from Oslo's National Art Museum in 1994, on the first day of the Lillehammer Olympics?

The answer is...


The Scream, 1893
Tempera and pastel on board. 91 x 73.5 cm.

The first time Munch described the experience which gave him the inspiration to this painting was in Nice, writing in his literary diary. The entry for 22 January 1892 reads:

"I was walking along the road with two friends.
The sun was setting.
I felt a breath of melancholy -
Suddenly the sky turned blood-red.
I stopped, and leaned against the railing, deathly tired -
looking out across the flaming clouds that hung like blood and a sword
over the blue-black fjord and town.
My friends walked on - I stood there, trembling with fear.
And I sensed a great, infinite scream pass through nature."

Citing Gardner's book Art Through Ages: " Munch Felt deeply the pain of human life. His belief that humans were powerless before the great natural forces of death and love and emotions associated with them -jealousy, loneliness, fear, desire and despair- became the theme of most of his art.

gay hostile work place?

I am puzzled by an incident at work on Friday afternoon, at the time I didn't think anything of it and kinda just laugh it off. Talking to a few of my friends they both agreed that it might have been harassment, I really don't know what to think now.

Ok, I hold a student position at the medical library and my boss is this super conservative republican lady. It was Friday afternoon and me and a coworker were just sitting around waiting for the clock to tick 6 P.M. so we could go home, then I get a phone call and after I got off the phone the conversation with the co-worker went something like this:

co-worker: Was that your special girl friend?
Jose: What do you mean my special girl friend?
co-worker: Yeah, was that your girlfriend?
Jose: No.
co-worker: or your boyfriend, if that's the way you go
Jose: No
co-worker: No what, not your Boyfriend or not the way you go?
Jose: Not the way I go (here I had to lie and the only reason was because my brother also works here and im not out to my family)
co-worker: Well, that's good because you know [the boss' name] is not too fond of the issue
Jose: Well, it's not like she has a say in the issue, now does she?
co-worker: Well, no you're right but you know how those republicans are.

Does that sound like harassment? The comments were all made in a non-threatening tone and just as a friendly chat between co-workers. Now I know that if I was to come out my boss would not be comfortable with me being gay and I do think she would either make it difficult for me to work here or would give me less hours for work next semester. Probably even at the time when she wasn't at the office.

I have to say that I don't feel threaten by the situation nor I care if she finds out, I am now hiding it from her and I do not care what she thinks or does. I know my rights and I know that if she was to do something like the afore mentioned she would be the one in trouble. Now I am just confused because of this incident made me realize all of this, I mean I knew before she was conservative and all that but I never realized just what could happen if she knew I am gay.

"generic relationships"

I have to accept when confronted with the idea of gay marriage I did too, like my fellow blogger Chris had my doubts. I looked around and wondered if this was really what the gay community wanted, or is it just about the principle of equal rights. When I thought about I was afraid that if this became a reality and we were allowed to marry, we'd screw it up and then the heterosexuals would turn and look at us with dissaproving eyes and say, see we were right. I know that a big percentage of the gay population is not concerned with monogamy and these "generic relationships" are all over the place

In my own specific case marriage is a good idea; I can't wait until I meet that special someone to spend the rest of my life in a monogamous relationship. I do believe there is a lot of people out there that think the same as I do, maybe im just a romantic but to me sex is much more than just a physical activity. Not to say anything about the people who decide to have open relationships, that's a matter of personal choice. I do believe that marriage is appropriate for me and it has nothing to do with "conforming to hetero standards" its about loving the person you are with and having that special bond and not needing anything else because you are completely fulfilled by your partner.

basic civil rights

Quoting the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy on Civil Rights where it says:

The first civil rights law, enacted in 1866, embodied the idea of discrimination as wrongful denial of civil rights to some while others enjoyed their full set of rights. It declared that “all persons” in the United States were to have “the same right…to make and enforce contracts…and to the full and equal benefit of all laws…as is enjoyed by white citizens.” (42 U.S.C.A. 1981). The premise was that whites enjoyed a fully adequate scheme of civil rights and that everyone else who was entitled to citizenship was to be legally guaranteed that same set of rights.

President Bush today called upon Congress to write discrimination into our constitution claiming that he is moved to take this measure in efforts to save the "sanctity of marriage." Now the The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Defines the word "sanctity" as

• Holiness of life or disposition; saintliness.


• The quality or condition of being considered sacred; inviolability.


• Something considered sacred

My question is, shouldn't be the church's concern to define what's sacred and what's not? Shouldn't the government be more concerned with the guarantee of equal rights to all law abiding citizens? Isn't the separation of the state and the church a fundamental foundation of this country? If an amendment on the constitution is made on grounds on protecting the sanctity of marriage what will happen to secular education mandated by the state? what about throwing out of courthouses copies of the ten comandments?

An amendment on the constitution is not to be taken lightly, specially if the amendment is only driven by politics. Hopeful Democrat candidate John Kerry said "All Americans should be concerned when a president who is in political trouble tries to tamper with the Constitution of the United States at the start of his re-election campaign."

Bush also said this morning that judges and local officials from Massachusetts, San Francisco and New Mexico were attempting to redefine marriage and "change the most fundamental institution of civilization" by allowing same-sex marriages. But isn't marriage a contract giving benefits and obligations to two people that want to spend their life together. The law should just be concerned with the basic rights of the individual and the constitution should not exclude any minority group of people based on any differences that this group might have with respect of a majority.

The matter of fact is that no concrete explanation has been given as to why two people of the same sex shouldn't be allowed to unite in matrimony other than for being "different" to heterosexuals; the House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) said "Never before has a constitutional amendment been used to discriminate against a group of people, and we must not start now."

"My Immortal" - Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

now what

I sit here, debating whether or not I should go downstairs to grab a diet Pepsi. I am telling you, life can present you with so many choices that if you let them they can become overwhelming. All you need to do is keep focused and be aware of who you are and the principles you carry with you, as well as where do you want to be in life. Knowing these simple things will help you and make your decision making process a hell of a lot easier.

See, these are the things that I think of while im at work staring at a computer for too long. I was doing some research for my two papers and I realized how much fun it is to discover new things; I know you people are gonna say im a big nerd but I just like to read stuff and find out about things I didn't know before that explain better the reason why things happen. Ok after this totally random entry I am going to go downstairs and get that Pepsi I am craving. A revoir

work out

So my roommate and I decided to start working out, this is a good thing because I've had it on my mind but since I didn't have anyone to go with I just couldn't commit to it. As many of you know, the hardest part is to start doing it; once you are on a roll you just do it, without thinking about it at least that's how I am.

You know I almost forgot how fun it is to go to the gym, its almost like getting fit is just an added bonus. For one you get to see hot boys naked in the locker room and half naked in the weight room. You also have more energy during the day and you just feel great; Lifting weights is also a great way to blow steam, you get all your frustrations out and release some stress. I am telling you, building muscle and looking great its just a little extra that comes with it.

In other news, I've decided to host the 2nd annual Jose's academy awards party. After my total failure from last year to try and predict who would win the awards, I've decided to take my revenge and take the money this year. Using SAS software, in my Quantitative Methods for Economic Strategy class, we are looking at data from the past 25 yrs to try and predict who the winners are. Doing simple statistics comparisons we should be able who has better odds on winning the Oscar. So stay tuned, I should have my final list of winners by next week, just ready for the big night.

If you think you should have been invited to the party and didn't get the evite, its probably because i have the wrong email address. so PLEASE send me and email and i'll make sure you get invited.

moving out

I have been thinking on moving out... Get my own place and not be under the rules or this site. After all ngrand78.com is available. We'll see, I'll ask around and see what kind of advise do I get.
So I am supposed to write a paper about Charles Sheeler representation of the new America and the new national identity as an urban nation where the industry was the most important part of the new economy, all this within the context of the pictures taken at Ford's River Rouge Plant work. How am I going to accomplish this task? I do not know.
In other news, I don't think there are other news. I really hate it when I sit here wanting to tell you something and nothing would come to my mind. You know what I need to do? I need to start working out again, this semester I do have some time where I cant squeeze some gym time, I need to get my ass in gear and do everything I need to do.
You know what annoys me, when people only use one door in public buildings, everyone stands on the other side waiting for the person coming on the opposite direction to pass through the door and then they proceed. I have news for all of you people, THE OTHER DOOR CAN BE OPENED TOO!! That way you don't need to wait!

back in town

so my weekend was ok, got to hang out with friends i only see once in a while. I Friday i partied hard, i didn't get home until 10 am the next morning, needless to say that day i didn't want to even get out of the hotel. I dont even know how many drinks i had friday night. Then Saturday we went to see the play. That was good times......... and you know what i dont really feel like blogging. Just wanted to tell ya i made it back. So i might give you details about my trip in some other time.

what do you do

What do you do when you know that the thing you want the most will never be yours again. What do you do when you finally realize that everything you wished and hoped for will never come to be? What do you do when you when you can’t lie to yourself anymore. What do you do when you are aware of all this and you refuse to close that chapter? How do you force yourself to move on; what is the best way to move on. Why is it so hard to accept the fact? Do you lie and convince yourself that you have already moved on? You stop talking to your friends about it; you make them believe that the pain is gone while the truth is that you are thorn inside?

The fact is that it all belongs to the past, all its left is memories. There is nothing anyone can do to change the new reality. Then why is it that you just can’t let go? What do you do with the feeling of emptiness? Is it just the fear of being lonely, of not being loved again, not being desired, of feeling unattractive? Then why refuse to take the opportunities that might show up in your face? Is it really loved? Or is it just the fear of being alone?

have a good one

ok kids, i hope you enjoy your weekend and dont fall into a dark nasty depression for not having someone to go out on a date this weekend. I will try to keep myself busy in sunny San Diego. I will see you, or write to you when i get back on sunday night; that is if my plane is not hijacked for terrorist purposes and i actually make it back alive.

valentine's day

i bet many of you my 5 readers (yes there's five of you now) don't know the origins of the St. Valentines Day, the most worthless of them holidays. It all goes back to the third century in Rome. It turns out that at the time there were a few wolves outside the city of Rome and they used to attack the sheppers once in a while until the God Lupercus started to look over the shepperds and drove the wolves away. So it was then when the Romans started to celebrate in February the Lupercalia Feast to thank Lupercus for his protection.

Also during the Lupercalia, but in honor of Juno the Romans used to hold a raffle of young women. Putting the names of the girls to be given away in a box and matching them with the men participating in the raffle, they were considered a couple for a whole year.

This is yet another reason why this holiday shouldn't exist, from hungry wolves to the giveaway of women. There are many more things wrong with this celebration. Not that im bitter or anything.

nothing to say

so i blogged this morning waiting for my roomate to get ready to go to school. So now im sitting here at the union in the basement computer lab on my break and i dont have anything to blog. I usually use this time to write something on here but since i already did this morning i dont have nothing to say now.

Oh, thank God i remembered. I am supposed to look up my apartment's office phone number, i gotta call and bitch at them because apparently the shower upstairs has a leak and the freaking ceiling in there is about to fall down. good call

About the setting down thing from before. If there are any takers out there you just just make sure you buy this ring

meeting

So yesterday i had my meeting with my professor from last semester, i wanted to see her to talk about grad school. She was very helpful and nice, even though she told me what i already knew; she did give me helpful information. She even offered to revise and edit my personal statement letter and to help me rewrite the paper i wrote for her class last semester (and here i thought i was done with the new deal art in the U.S. during the depression years.) I also found out that i made a very good choice on taking Drs. Stacie Widdifield's and Keith Mcelroy's classes, apparently they are two of the best art history professors in the country. She encouraged me to go talk to them and let them know my aspirations and ask them for help, im thinking i could use the paper for their classes as my writing sample too.

As for my choice of schools, she confirmed my suspicions. The programs i want to apply for are among the most competitive in the country and it would be VERY hard to get in. The advice she gave me, is that since my only reason for picking those schools is the location (Chicaho, New York and L.A) i should look into other school in the same places. She also told me to do some research on who are the hot names right now in the field i am more interested in (19th century french art and american contemporary art) and maybe get in touch with them, ask about their programs and maybe apply there. I actually did find someone who i think it would be very interesting to study with, his name is Sheldon Nodelman and he teaches at UCSD and i guess San Diego wouldn't be a horrible place to be, although i do like it better to just visit than to live there. But of course now i am thinking more and more about the financial side of all this, maybe i should just be better of getting my job as a marketing researcher and make the big bucks! I guess i just sometimes feel like im on this middle ground and i have all these unresolved business. My friend nick said the other day that Trevor was the only man he knew with a biological clock, well i think i have news for him i think i have one of those too. I want to settle down.

date #2

Date number two went very well, Brian is such a sweetheart. We had dinner, which was the best mexican food i have had in Tucson in a while (and i am picky when it comes to Mexican Food). I kinda feel bad thought, i dragged him with me to watch the movie Girl with a Pearl Earring and even i enjoyed it i realize other people might find it boring. The movie is a fictional story based on a real painting by the Dutch Master Johannes Vermeer.

Little is known about Vermeer or his models. He only painted about 35 pieces and almost all of them depict scenes of the everyday life of middle class people engaged in various domestic tasks. The rich colors and textures redered by the artist on his paintings are till this day outstanding. another example of Vermeer's magnificent skills as a painter is The Milkmaid. The true story about The Girl with the Pearl Earring is not known, some scholars claim it could've been the painter's own daughter who at the time would've been 12 or 13 years old. It is true that of all Vermeer's paintings this stands out thanks to the in-your-face quality of the picture, the engaging look of the girls eyes.

Girl with a Pearl Earring ( Meisje met de parel )
c. 1665,oil on canvas
17 1/2 x 15 3/8 in. (44.5 x 39 cm.)
The Hague, The Royal Cabinet of Paintings
Mauritshuis

neighbors

I've come to the conclusion that my new upstairs neighbors are gay. I have not seen them yet, so i don't have a gaydar reading but last night they were blasting techno/trance music and then this morning they were jamming to Rufus Wainwright kudos for that. Althought they are quickly becoming the annoying neighbors, the master bedroom is right above mine and therefore i can hear all the "matress noises" that come from the apt upstairs, NOT PLEASANT! and then they seem to not be able to just sit down and stay still, it seems like they like to run around the freaking apartment all the time! all im saying is that they better be cute or else im not putting up with this crap.

So i have the 1st of my 2 dates last night, the date went well, it was kind of a short date but i actually think 3hrs is the perfect time for a 1st date, you dont want to over do it. We just went to grab dinner and then i came home. We had a really good conversation over dinner and he made me laugh. We'll see what happens, date number 2 is tonight and i hope that one goes well, Brian is such a sweetheart and very talented too, for what i hear. In other news, and speaking of talented people, next weekend i will be going to San Diego. My old roomate's boyfriend is a graduate student director at UCSD and is directing his thesis play, opening day is February 12th. The play is called I Ain't Yo Uncle and it seems very promising, poor guy has busted his ass off for a few months now and all he deserves is to have a great show.

I also wanted to thank burnsy for his kind words last night, apparently he is liking my blog, which makes me happy.

... Oooh I'm a star.
And the audience loves me.
And I love them and they loooove me for loving them.
And I love them for loving me.
And we loooooove each other.
That's 'cause none of us got any love in our childhood.
And that's show biz... Kid.

paper topics

flash news school is starting to kick my ass already!

i am currently taking two art history classes, 19th century European Art and History of Photography. Both of them start off at roughly the same period, the 18th century, for both of them i need to write a paper, both of my professors are really good and i could potentially use the final paper needed for this class as a "writing sample" for grad school. Specially since in both classes we deal with 19th century French art. So for one of my classes i've decided to write about the first impressionist art exhibition which is one of my favorite themes. For the other class, history of photography, my professor wants me to write about sheeler's portfolio/documentation of Ford's River Rouge plant in Detroit. This could actually work since i have planned a trip to Detroit and i could potentially go to the Detroit Institute of Art and do some research there (but lets be realistic, i am not going to spend my spring break at a freaking museum) By the way, there is a really good show going on up in the Phoenix Museum of Art, a lot of the paintings from the American panting collection of the DIA are up there, i have to go check it out.
The other topic is more related to the impressionist movement, it'll be about Steichen and his attempt to "Impressionist Photography" (i just made up that term i think, it actually is Pictorialism). Anyways, another thing that pisses me off is that all the books are at the CCP Library, which is only open for like an hour a dai. Oh well, we'll see
I ran into fellow blogger Brian aka bribs today at school, which reminded me we still need to decide where we're going on saturday, any suggestions?

its time

After being single for almost four months, i guess it's time for me to "get in the game" (i hate that expression) again. I haven't had a date in such a long time, last month i turned down two guys who asked me out but now i guess i should give it a shot. I am kinda nervous because i do have two dates this weekday (different guys than last month, no im not a whore or a playa) and I've never had two dates with different guys the same weekend, hell I've never had to dates with two different guys the same month! But I guess its allowed, so my friends say. They're both nice guys and very cute, one of them is in school and he is graduating in may (and moving away) that could be a problem, but who knows. If nothing else I'll have two new friends. The other guy I was supposed to go out with a long time ago, but then I started dating my ex and didn't talk to him again, I just ran into him at the bar last weekend so we decided to hang out on Friday. Any movie recommendations?

In other news, i finally was able to install the SAS software into my computer! Those Cats people really suck. Ok i bought a "student license" from the U of A to be able to use the software in my home computer. They lend you the CDs so you can install the program on your computer and they're supposed to give you the code. Well, i never got the code i had to email them and call them so they could finally send me the email. then im on the phone with this person who works at A COMPUTER STORE (Bookstore's Cats) and he is trying to email me the link from where im supposed to download the code. He spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to CUT AND PASTE a freaking link. Anyways, im over with them.

opinion poll, as some of you know i just got eyeglasses. So i need you to tell me which pair of glasses look better on me. Here are the pics...

or

Janeth's boob

it turns out it wasn't a pasty, its a freaking nipple piercing



"suck my sun goddess!!" -Mike

the crush is over

Ever since the show While You Were Out changed it's host I've had a crush on Evan Farmer until today. I googled him and found his "official" website. If you look at it everything is fine and normal. But he has a video section where he has a compilation of various tv appearances. Apparently he filled in for Carson Daly in TRL and he made sure to show his fans holding sings of "we love evan" every single time he was on the show, that's just too egotistical of him. Plus he didn't even used to look that good back then, now yeah he is fucking hot, oh well.

And what about the boobs hanging out at the superbowl halftime show. But what's even more hilarious to me is that they apologized for it afterwards calling it a "wardrobe malfunction" and that it was unplanned. For christsake! JT claims he didn't intend to expose Jackson's breast, even though the last line of his song was "im gonna have you naked by the end of this song." C'mon just get over it, i don't know why they're making such a big deal. Now they are gonna have the feds investigate the show to see what happened. Well im gonna tell you what happened, JJ and JT wanted to make headlines just like Madonna and sluty spears did and what better way to top it of than doing something "outrageous" in front of 100 million viewers and of course they had to keep it secret and not tell CBS because they wouldn't let them do it. I feel sorry for Gil Duldulao who is the choreographer because now he's gonna have to answer some questions, I just hope he has money to pay for whatever fine they give him.

All i have to say is that i love TiVo, i get to watch the halftime show and the commercials without having to wait in between plays. They should just skip the middleman and only show the commercials and the halftime, they can run the game at night or some other day on reruns or something.